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Words from the Heart

These are some words I wrote for Annie....

IF ONLY

 

If only I could have you back for just another day

I’d tell you all the little things I’d always meant to say

 

I’d tell you have you really make me feel so full of pride

How happy I felt to have you that I surely could have cried

 

I’d tell you that you’re beautiful with eyes so big and blue

Hair so soft and shiny almost too good to be true

 

I’d tell you how you make me laugh splashing the bath water

I’d tell you just how much it means to have you as my daughter

 

If only I could have you back for just a little while

I’d hold you close with tender arms and wonder at your smile

 

I’d whisper that I love you but my heart would break, Annie

I wish that I could have you back, you’re all the world to me

 

 

ANNIE

 

There’s no need to wash your clothes now

Your toys are quiet and still

The bathroom floor’s much drier

I’ve no dishes or juice cups to fill

 

I miss the sound of your laughing

And your tears to wipe away

Your cot looks cold and empty

Since that awful April day

 

I only have your photos and

One drawing you did for me

I can only sit down and remember

Your beautiful memory

 

But you know I will always love you

The only daughter I ever had

And you know I will never forget you

Although I will always be sad

 

I’m told you are an angel now

The most beautiful angel I’m sure

And from now until the end of time

I could not love you more.

MY BRIGHT STAR

 

A million tears, a heartache

And a sorrow that runs deep

No more to kiss and cuddle you

Just memories to keep

 

Although it was so short a time

That you were here to play

The happiness you brought me

No-one can take away

 

A little Angel here on earth

You left me asking ‘Why?’

But I’ll hold you close in time again

My Bright Star in the sky

Pink bunny

The After Loss Credo

by Barbara Hills LesStrang

I need to talk about my loss.
I may often need to tell you what happened - or to ask you why it happened.
Each time I discuss my loss; I am helping myself face the reality of
the death of my loved one.

I need to know that you care about me.
I need to feel your touch, your hugs.
I need you just to be with me.  (And I need to be with you.)
I need to know you believe in me and in my ability to get though my
grief in my own way.  (And in my own time.)

Please don't judge me now - or think that I'm behaving strangely.
Remember I'm grieving.
I may even be in shock.
I may feel afraid. I may feel deep rage.
I may even feel guilty. But, above all, I hurt.
I'm experiencing a pain unlike any I've ever felt before.

Don't worry if you think I'm getting better and then suddenly I seem
to slip backward.
Grief makes me behave this way at times.
And please don't tell me you "know how I feel." or that it's time
for me to get on with my life.
(I am probably already saying that to myself.)
What I need now is time to grieve and to recover.

Most of all, thank you for being my friend.
Thank you for your patience.
Thank you for caring.
Thank you for helping, for understanding.
Thank you for praying for me.
And remember, in the days or years ahead, after your loss - when you
need me as I have needed you - I will understand.
And then I will come and be with you.

Good night Little Princess